It's NOT Penis Envy...

I decided to pick up my mic and discuss an interaction I had with my daughter that had me questioning and wondering what it would be like ... to be a boy.

Which caused my daughter to ask if I wanted to transition.  LOL!

And then a couple of days later, I saw a post by someone I follow on FB about the difference in confidence and boldness between men and women.  

Watch the episode on YouTube right here (I pull up the post by Kylie and share it with you): https://youtu.be/lxwV73DkxCA

Here is Kylie's post as well:  https://www.facebook.com/share/p/166XP7G4FB/

Transcript

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Kristen Lena: Okay, this is, gonna be a quick one. So about half hour ago, it was supposed to be on a planning.

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Kristen Lena: Meeting with. My co-host.

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Kristen Lena: And she. Did not show up. So of course I'm worried right? That's a separate issue.

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Kristen Lena: But this is really going to bum me out, because I just. I gotta find this girl.

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Kristen Lena: Yeah, okay, so. Couple. This is so I decided that I'm going to record probably the shortest.

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Kristen Lena: It's the shortest podcast, episode, ever. Um. And the reason why is because.

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Kristen Lena: You know how, when you have a thought. Or how some people we call I mean, you know, in my world we call it like a download like this kind of insight. This intuitive hit, whatever you call it.

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Kristen Lena: I, now. You know. Pay attention to those.

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Kristen Lena: And I pay attention to like when. When I have a thought that comes, whatever comes from out of nowhere, or it comes from somewhere right? Like I notice something. And then I mention something. And then, a day or 2 later.

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Kristen Lena: You see something that is. In the same realm as that. So I would like to explain something to you.

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Kristen Lena: So last week I was driving home. I picked up my oldest from school.

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Kristen Lena: And we're driving home. And we're sitting on a stoplight.

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Kristen Lena: And it's a busy. It's a very busy intersection, very busy both ways, busy. Um 3 lanes on each side like these are the neighborhoods that I live in, like 3 lanes going one way, 3 lanes going, the other 2 on this side, 2 on this side.

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Kristen Lena: Dizzy intersection. And as a mom, I'm always like. I'm so worried like, be careful crossing the street because we live in a very.

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Kristen Lena: Crazy populated area, and people drive like assholes. And so we're sitting at the stoplight. And I see these 2 boys who were probably, you know, they were teenagers, high schoolers. Maybe.

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Kristen Lena: On. I want to say, okay. So I was thinking they were scooters, but they weren't scooters. They were those motorized bikes. That have like big, fat tires. And so they've got motors on them. So they go really fast. Neither one of them was wearing helmets, and both of them, if I'm facing this way, sitting at a stop, a red stoplight, they're in the crosswalk.

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Kristen Lena: Crossing the street, and then they went. To our right.

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Kristen Lena: And I'm watching them. And they ride their bikes.

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Kristen Lena: Motorized bikes across the street and then like whip around onto the sidewalk. And they're just like. I'm like, Oh, my gosh! That just makes me just so nervous like.

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Kristen Lena: And then I stopped for a minute. And they're just kind of zipping down, and they're going super fast and.

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Kristen Lena: I look at my daughter, and she didn't really. Get it because she's just, you know.

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Kristen Lena: I was like man. What I wouldn't give to just be.

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Kristen Lena: A boy, a man, a boy, a boy, because boys in in that age are just like. They're they're young and dumb, right and.

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Kristen Lena: Fearless. And so I said, Man, what I wouldn't give to just be a boy for a week. She was like. He goes.

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Kristen Lena: You want to transition, and I was like, No, Babe, I don't want to transition. I just want to like for a week. Be a teenage boy. Why, why would I want to do that? She's like.

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Kristen Lena: She looked at me. Funny, right? And I said, Look at how free they are. Look at. I'm watching them just like Zip.

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Kristen Lena: Like fast on these motorized bikes. Down a busy street, and all I can think of is, my God! Slow down, my God! Don't get hit by a car like my and.

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Kristen Lena: And and I said, and what I said to her. I explained to her. Boys have testosterone.

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Kristen Lena: And testosterone creates this like daringness, it creates. You know it creates.

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Kristen Lena: Courage. They're just. They're fearless. They do shit really without thinking. Am I going to get hurt? And then there's girls who are like. Now listen. I'm making sweeping generalizations. Shut the fuck up. I know what I'm doing. I'm making sweeping generalizations, biologically wired.

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Kristen Lena: Testosterone creates this. And I don't know really the words to use, but my words are just going to be this daring.

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Kristen Lena: This boldness, this risk, takingness. And I want to experience what that would feel like for a minute.

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Kristen Lena: Just to be wild. And if you know me and you, you know you followed me at all, even a little bit.

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Kristen Lena: Everything, about. You know my content and my platform, and my message is.

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Kristen Lena: Women daring greatly, women. Shout out to Berne Brown, women!

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Kristen Lena: Living out loud women, living like boldly. Why is that so important to me? Because I feel so fucking? Shut down.

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Kristen Lena: I have felt so. Closed off so just like.

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Kristen Lena: You know. Don't say this, don't. Act like this. Don't wear this. Don't fuck this way.

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Kristen Lena: Like, and I'm I'm being serious like. The limitations that I feel as a woman.

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Kristen Lena: Ah feel so fucking, oppressive. And I look at men.

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Kristen Lena: Out in the world who can say whatever the fuck they want. Do whatever the fuck they want like rename, a golf.

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Kristen Lena: Rename a body of water. Who in the fuck do you think you are? And I'm not trying to be political here, but I'm just talking about it from the standpoint of like.

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Kristen Lena: Size of balls like, and I don't mean that in. I don't. I that to me right now isn't.

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Kristen Lena: A compliment. Not a compliment.

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Kristen Lena: And yet women. In general, girls.

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Kristen Lena: People think about me. Oh, I did it. I've seen my girls do it. That's cringe, mom. You can't say that. Why don't you have a conversation with that girl about what you're upset about. Oh, my gosh, mom, you can't do that. And I hate it for us.

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Kristen Lena: I hate it for us. And so the reason why I wanted to record this oh, look at me! Only 6 min and 50 seconds in. Is because, as I was sitting here waiting for my co-host.

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Kristen Lena: Who I'm going to follow up with her because I'm really worried. She didn't show up. I.

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Kristen Lena: And now I now I can't find it. Oh, here it is. I see this post from someone I follow.

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Kristen Lena: Her name is Kylie Ryan. I'm just going to show you, because. Notice what it says.

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Kristen Lena: On her motherfucker. Can we just stop here for a second.

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Kristen Lena: Okay. Here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna go on Facebook. And I'm just gonna share my fucking screen. So give me one second. Alright!

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Kristen Lena: Okay, so let me just share. What literally 10 min ago, grabbed my attention.

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Kristen Lena: So this right here. Was all that I saw on my phone.

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Kristen Lena: I tried to show you on my phone. But whatever Daddy issues gone, I was like, Oh, shit, click! You got me. You got me kylie.

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Kristen Lena: Click, and her post is long, and it goes on to describe. Her experience.

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Kristen Lena: As an entrepreneur, and you know. Slash. Being a woman.

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Kristen Lena: Her experience with. The difference between what.

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Kristen Lena: What and how men move and operate in the world, and how women. Do it, and how much time we spend.

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Kristen Lena: In this kind of conversation that I was just having before. So I wish I had the confidence of a mediocre white man.

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Kristen Lena: And that's exactly what I was talking about. When I was looking at these these young boys, daring.

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Kristen Lena: Um, and you know, risk taking. And so she goes on to just write this whole long.

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Kristen Lena: Piece about what it's like. As a woman.

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Kristen Lena: And what it's like as a woman. Kind of like in the space of men's leadership. Let's just call it that.

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Kristen Lena: Let's just call it the. Historical Framework.

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Kristen Lena: For what leadership looks like. Aka!

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Kristen Lena: White men. And so she just she just, you know, goes on to talk about how much.

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Kristen Lena: You know, just if you want to, I'll pop it in here. But if you want to. Read this.

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Kristen Lena: Um feel free. But it was so fascinating to me, and what I'm I'm going to challenge you with something.

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Kristen Lena: You know, this week I have taken on. Working with a private coach. I have never done this before in my life, might seem.

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Kristen Lena: Strange to you, but I have never worked one on one. With a coach.

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Kristen Lena: I'll probably be talking a lot about my experience with her. I'm scared out of my fucking sneakers.

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Kristen Lena: Cause. She is a very good friend of mine, and she informed me that she ain't gonna be my friend while she's doing this coaching with me, and I was like great. Bring it like, bring it because I really I'm really ready. I've not always been ready, but I'm ready. I'm ready to have my ass handed to me. I'm ready to be called out. I'm ready to stop fucking, playing bullshit games with what I'm doing in my life and my business.

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Kristen Lena: And she's the one to kick my ass into shape, and I'm excited about it. Terrified, as equally terrified as I am excited. And so I just want you to. So in the process of me, saying yes to being coached by her.

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Kristen Lena: She, I have been witnessing and noticing and consciously being aware of my where my thoughts go. Where are my thoughts? Where have my thoughts been going? And they've been going to very disempowered places, automatically, unconsciously, just automatically.

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Kristen Lena: This is the loop. This is the thing that's happening. Something happens in my life. I start to think about this thing. Almost every time. And I'm like, Wow, that's a lot of energy that I'm spending on that thing that I have no control over.

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Kristen Lena: That I have no control over. That is not going to move the needle for what I say I want to create in my life. So let's go.

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Kristen Lena: And what I so. As I've been in this kind of space of like looking at my thoughts.

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Kristen Lena: Looking at my predominant. Thoughts. It's been eye-opening. And so I challenge you, you know, for the listen, do it for do it for the next 3 h.

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Kristen Lena: If you're a beast, do it for the next 24, if you're a fucking badass, motherfucker, which I know you are, do it for the next week. Just be slow down enough so that you can actually go. What's my predominant thought? That's in the background right now.

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Kristen Lena: And you'll it'll look like it'll look like a series of something happens. And then in your mind you're playing out a scenario, or you're reliving something, or you're, you know, blaming and blaming someone else and victimizing yourself.

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Kristen Lena: And that was what was happening with me. I was just like, Oh, my God! It's running my life. And when something.

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Kristen Lena: When when I'm giving my energy and attention. To something that a I don't have any control over.

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Kristen Lena: And B. Doesn't like just keeps me in this kind of negative place. Then I can see. Oh, shit! That's where my fucking energy is going. Oh, shit! That's what's draining me, and I just say this to you.

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Kristen Lena: Aside from this topic of like man, I wish I could be a fucking. A fucking teenage boy for a week.

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Kristen Lena: Just to feel what that that sense of freedom. Fearlessness.

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Kristen Lena: And daringness and boldness. And courage just to see what the fuck that feels like.

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Kristen Lena: Because as a girl, right, we're all. We're all still the pieces of ourselves that we've been up until now. So I'm still a teenage girl. I'm still young.

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Kristen Lena: Like a young woman. I'm still in my thirties. I'm still. I'm still that person. She's in there, and when I look back at like, how how afraid I've been. How God designed me.

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Kristen Lena: To be just intense as fuck. Oh!

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Kristen Lena: Some people I know that love me call it. Fashion.

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Kristen Lena: You know, it hasn't felt like passion. It's felt like, you know, fucking a lot. It's felt like a lot for a lot of my life. So just look at where your thoughts going.

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Kristen Lena: You know. Where are your thoughts going outside of this this boldness and testosterone, and wanting to like, feel what it feels like. To just like, not give a fuck, and just do what the fuck you want to do.

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Kristen Lena: I want to experience that, and it takes something, for I believe it takes something for the average typical woman. To bump up against? What are people going to think? What are they going to say? What are? What are you know? What does it look like.

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Kristen Lena: How am I coming across the energy that we? So I'm challenging you to think about the things that you say that you want. What's something that you say that you want that you're committed to in your life?

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Kristen Lena: Could be a relationship. It could be your health, it could be money, your career. It could. It's something that's important to you.

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Kristen Lena: And that you also have a story, or you have a dialogue or a narrative running. That has this essence of like, yeah, I can't, because.

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Kristen Lena: It's there, it's there. Why do I know it's there? Because if it wasn't there. If it wasn't that, or something similar to that, you'd be doing it, having it, experiencing it.

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Kristen Lena: And why do I know? Cause that's what the fuck I do. So just a little tidbit, little baby up podcast episode to tell you. No, I don't want to transition no.

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Kristen Lena: I don't. I don't even think it's penis envy quite honestly. I've maybe had that experience once or twice in my life like Oh, would that be like.

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Kristen Lena: It's more, what would it feel like? What would it feel like? What would the experience of feeling fearless. Risk, taking bold.

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Kristen Lena: Audacious, really like risk taking. What would it feel like to experience that and not have to push through. Limiting thoughts and fears.

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Kristen Lena: Judgments of self, judgments of others. What would that look and feel like? Okay? And.

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Kristen Lena: Yeah, take that into your week and um. As always, loving you fiercely.

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Kristen Lena: And holding you high. See you later.